Greetings of the (silly) Season

Received in an email from Fernando Barrio:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non addictive, gender neutral, celebration of the Northern hemisphere’s winter solstice holiday, practised within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or the choice to not practice secular or religious traditions at all…and a
fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2008, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contribution to society have helped made our country great (not to imply that our country is necessarily greater than any other), and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age, physical ability, religious faith, choice of computer platform or sexual orientation of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration of the original greeting. It implies no promise from the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and it is void where prohibited by law and it is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is expected to perform as expected within the usual application of good tiding for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish a sole discretion of the wisher.

LOL.

Memory loss treatments discovered

From BBC News:

Mental stimulation and drug treatment could help people with degenerative brain diseases such as Alzheimer's recover their memories, a study says.

Scientists found mice with a similar condition to Alzheimer's were able to regain memories of tasks they had previously been taught.

This is great news for Alzheimer's sufferers. And given that our sense of identity is tied up intimately with our memory, could the following conversation be heard in doctors' surgeries in a few years?

Patient: "Doctor, doctor, I feel like my identity is disappearing, I just can't remember who I am or who anyone else is. Who are you, by the way?"

Doctor: "Don't worry, just take four Identilux daily with a glass of water and you'll be right as rain in no time!"

; )

Identity Theft—the movie

A stirring tale of jealousy, soul-searching and brutality. All in 4 minutes 48 seconds.

You are what you phone?

Nielsen Media has been asking some Australians about mobile identity—or rather, the identity of mobiles:

If you're carrying a Motorola mobile phone the chances are you are under 24 and fashion conscious.

But if you've got a Nokia in your pocket (or briefcase), it's a fair bet you might be a family-minded, middle-aged manager.

Sony Ericsson handsets are favoured by ambitious young men trying to make their mark; LGs are tops with mums; while Samsungs are wielded by young women focused on their career, a study of mobile phone usage shows.

Nielsen Media Research associate director Mr Jody Loughlin said all makes of mobiles had a wide spread of customer types but some groups were more attracted to certain brands than others.

Hum, am I really an ambitious young man trying to make my mark? Or does the insight only apply to Australians? And is 34 young these days? ; )

Passport for Bond

From contactmusic.com:

The British Home Office have granted a real passport to actor DANIEL CRAIG under the name of his 007 character JAMES BOND. The passport was given to film production company Eon in order to add some authenticity to the successful British film. To keep with security requirements however, the document is supposed to be returned to the Home Office. JOHN REID, the British Home Secretary says, "The Identity and Passport Service require such passports to be returned and destroyed immediately after use." However a representative for film company Eon claims, "They haven't asked for it so we'll be keeping it indefinitely."

Don't know if it's a true story, but it tickled me. The Home Office incompetence certainly rings true. ; )

Surveillance schmurveillance

Everyone is going on about the Surveillance Society these days, but I just don't see it myself.

Musical anatomy

WARNING: off-topic silliness follows. ; )

Sight reading with a piano pupil through a duet reduction of Haydn's Symphony No. 2 in D major yesterday, I was reminded of an experience I had as a callow seventeen year-old in my Music A Level Analysis class (I was studying on the Preparatory Course in Music at Dartington College of Arts in Devon; wow, I just realised that was half a lifetime ago!).

Our Analysis teacher, Dave (I forget his surname, which is probably fortunate), is fresh out of university and evidently keen to impress the class with his knowhow and enthusiasm. As we reach, in a group analysis, the point in the first movement of the symphony where Haydn modulates rather dramatically and loudly to A major, Dave melodramatically expostulates, in his vowel-softened Newcastle accent:

"Can't you just feel the massive A-ness?!"

The image Dave had just unintentionally conjured in our minds seems to hang in the air for a moment.

A deranged laughter bursts across the room, uncontrollable and side-splitting. We are falling off our chairs. Poor Dave flushes beetroot red.

Then some wag pipes up:

"It's a good job there's no key of P!"

Apple iLaunch

From The Onion, via Techcrunch:

Apple Unveils New Product-Unveiling Product

Very silly! It brings home a presumably unintended point to me, though: Steve Job's intense charisma and creativity shines through Apple's product range, and could never be replaced by a machine. End of seriousness—go read and laugh.

thepictureofeverything.com

Nothing if not ambitious!

Then again, I guess all of us carry around our own, unique "picture of everything" in our heads. We're just not all so good at cartooning.

heBay/sheBay

Just in case you needed another one:

The end of the internet

Ah, what a relief: I finally surfed my way to the end of the internet!